The Golden Rule and Reciprocity

Do to others whatever you would have them do to you. This rule can be rephrased in a negative form: do not do to others want you do not want them to do to you. This famous golden rule is the summary of the moral teachings of Jesus. It sums up the Law and the Prophets. It is the basic principle of human relationships and community life. It transcends all cultures and religions.  Even the animists appreciate the rule. Alexander Severus, a pagan emperor wrote it in gold in his court as a benchmark for dispensing justice.

The golden rule simply states that we should treat others the way we will like to be treated. If we want to be respected- we should respect others. If we want to be loved, we should love. If we do not want to be deceived, we should not deceive. If we do not want to be cheated, we should not cheat.

Needless to say that the golden rule is so easy to pronounce but difficult to practise. It is not uncommon to see people who fight for their rights but have no regards for the rights of others. Or people who protect their own freedom but viciously violate the freedom of others. A liar may insist that everybody should tell him the truth. And a dishonest person wants everybody to be honest with him. The golden rule may be very simple and commonsensical but difficult to practise.

It is also true that there is no assurance that if we do to others what we want them to do to us they will reciprocate. If we want to be loved, and we love people. There is no guarantee that we will be loved back. Practicing the golden rule may prove very difficult with those who do not share our moral value system. For example, the fact that I don’t want to be cheated and I don’t cheat people does not necessarily mean that others will not cheat me.  In other words the golden rule does not guarantee reciprocity.

If the golden rule does not guarantee reciprocity, is it still worth following? Lack of reciprocity may not prevent us from following the rule. The fact that one’s love may not be returned does not mean one should stop loving. If you save your greetings only for your friends, what more are you doing than other? Even the Gentiles do the same (Cf. Mt 5:47). If we love only those who will love us back or give only to those who will give us back, we are doing nothing exceptionally meritorious.

The practice of the golden rule should transcend selfish motives. We love selflessly even when our love is not returned. We give without expecting anything in return. We greet even when our greetings are not appreciated. We respect the rights of those who will not respect our rights. Then we will become true sons and daughters of our Father in heaven.