God's Infinite Providence

God can accomplish infinitely more than we ask or imagine because he is God; because there is nothing impossible to him; because he is very generous; because he delights in giving; because he wants to surprise us (Cf.Eph 3:20).  God is able to do all things “superabundantly above the greatest abundance.” There are many examples in the Bible where God gave far more than what was asked or desired.

The newly married couples ran out of wine in Cana (Cf. Jn 2:1-12). They were hugely embarrassed. Facing imminent disgrace Mary mother of Jesus asked for a miracle on their behalf. All they ever wanted was few bottles of wine to take care of their remaining guests. But Jesus turned water into wine-abundant wine.  Six stone jars, each holding twenty or thirty gallons of wine was readily available for the entertainment of the guests. The couples in their wildest imagination never expected to have such surplus. They received far more than they could ask or imagine.

A huge crowd was following Jesus who have not eaten possibly for days. They were tired and very hungry. They had neither the means nor the opportunity to buy food. All they wanted was some food- anything that would keep them going. But Jesus multiplied five loaves and two fish. The hungry crowd ate to their utmost satisfaction. And there was left over of twelve baskets full (Cf. Matt 14:13-21)

God in his infinite generosity gives us far more that what we can ask or imagine. God’s blessings are countless; his favours are innumerable; his graces are abundant. His blessings are neither scarce nor sparse.  God lavishes on us everyday blessings that we did not ask for; that we dare not ask for; stupendous blessings that we cannot  even imagine. God is able to provide you with every blessing in abundance, so that by always having enough of everything, you may share abundantly in every good work (2Cor 9:8).

In our petitions we should never place a limit to what God can do for us.  Steven J. Cole says “God is not just able to do beyond what we ask, but abundantly beyond. But that is not enough, he is able to do far more abundantly beyond what we ask.” With exuberant favour of faith, let us be bold to ask anything.  Mathew Henry says “let us expect more, and ask for more, encouraged by what Christ has already done for our souls.” There is nothing that is too much to ask God. Ask and you shall receive (Matt 7:7).

We should never place limits in our imagination to what God can do for us. Adam Clark says “we can imagine good things to which it is impossible for us to give a name; we can go beyond the limits of all human descriptions; we can imagine more than even God has specified in his word; and can feel no bounds to our imagination of good, but impossibility and eternity.”

Although God can give more than we can ask or imagine, he gives only for his own glory, according to his will and for our good. Despite the fact that God has absolute power to do and give anything, he cannot give what contradicts his nature and contrary to his divine will. In the final analysis, God gives what he pleases to give, in his own way and at his own time. God gives what he wills, how he wills and when he wills.

Transfiguration of the Lord

Jesus Christ took three of his disciples to a very high mountain. As he was praying, the appearance of his face changed, and his clothes became dazzling white. Jesus was transfigured. Moses and Elijah appeared to him in astonishing glory and were discussing with the King of glory. In the transfiguration, Jesus revealed an aspect of his glory, just a little aspect of his glory. The glory he had from all eternity, before the dawn of time. St John Damascene says “Christ was transfigured, not by acquiring what he was not but by manifesting to his disciples what he in fact was.” Jesus Christ is the King of glory. Who is the King of glory? The Lord, the Mighty, the Valiant, the Valiant in war, he is the King of glory (Ps 24: 8).  At his incarnation, Jesus concealed his glory under human flesh He became like us in all things but sin.


REASONS FOR  TRANSFIGURATION

Jesus decided to reveal his glory to his disciples for two major reasons . First, He wanted them to gain greater understanding of his person and divinity. He wanted to free them from any modicum of doubts concerning his divinity. Since the disciples would be his witnesses and spread his message; Jesus wanted his disciples to have a clear and certain knowledge of his Person and mission, so that they could proclaim him to the whole world with confidence and certainty. Later John would testify, “we have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only (Jn 1:14). Peter wrote “we ourselves heard this voice that came from heaven when we were with him on the sacred mountain” (Cf. 2 Pet 1:16-18).

Second, Jesus wanted to encourage his disciples.  He knew they would suffer tremendously for the spread of the Gospel. He wanted to provide a solid ground of hope for them. He wanted to direct their gaze to the glory that awaits them if they persevered to the end. Later the disciples would suffer many persecutions and afflictions, but they held fast to their faith and the teachings of the Gospel because they have seen the weight of glory that awaits them. For the disciples, “the journey up Mt. Tabor, the Mount of transfiguration, with Jesus is a foretaste of the glory to come on the other side of Calvary, a great preparation for Calvary, a great hope”


DESTINED FOR GLORY

God has destined us to become sharers of eternal glory. We too will be transfigured and we will assume the glorified body. Our Lord Jesus Christ will transform our lowly body to be like his glorious body (Cf. Phil 3:21).  So we do not lose heart. Even though our outer nature is wasting away, our inner nature is being renewed day by day. For this slight momentary affliction is preparing us for an eternal weight of glory beyond all measure (2Cor 4:16-17).

But before our transfiguration, we need to listen to what the King of glory commands.  At the transfiguration, a voice came out of the cloud saying, “This is my Son; listen to him!” We need to listen attentively to Jesus, allow his Word to abide in us, and bear abundant fruits. The eternal weight of glory is destined for the doers of the Word and not for forgetful listeners. Be doers of the word, and not merely hearers who deceive themselves (Jam 1:22).

Trials and tribulations also precede the reception of weight of glory. Our faith will be tested, temptations will abound, and persecutions may come in different forms. But only those who persevere to the end will receive the eternal weight of glory. In the dark and dreary moments of life, the glory that awaits us in heaven can motivate us to continue to run the race.  The suffering is short but the glory is eternal.  The sufferings of this present life are not worth comparing with the glory about to be revealed to us (Rom 8:18). After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory  in Christ, will himself restore, support, strengthen, and establish you (1Pet 5:10).

Teach Us How to Pray

There are two common presumptions concerning prayer among Christians. First, that we know how to pray. Perhaps we pray frequently; and consider ourselves ‘proficient’ in prayer. We convince ourselves that we are praying well.  The disciples of Jesus, after spending close to three years with Him, observing Him pray day and night, realized that they did not know how to pray. In humility they implore Jesus: “Lord, teach us how to pray” (Lk 11:1).  Perhaps this humble request was their first authentic prayer!

Second, that we know what to pray for. The disciples of Jesus, James and John accosted him. They were convinced that they knew exactly what to ask for; they asked Jesus if it is possible for one to sit at His right hand and the other sit at His left in His Kingdoms. They later realized that their request was totally inappropriate (Cf. Mk 10:35-40).

These two disciples would still make another outrageous request to Jesus.  The Samaritan villagers would not allow Jesus and his disciples to pass through their village. Though the earth and its fullness belong to Jesus (Cf. Ps 24:1). Both Samaria and Samaritans belong to Jesus. Infuriated by the refusal of the Samaritan villagers to allow Jesus pass through their village, James and John asked Jesus whether they could call down fire from heaven to consume this ‘audacious’ villagers. Jesus rebuked them (Cf. Lk 9:51-56). Again they displayed a pitiable ignorance of what to ask for.

Like the disciples of Jesus we tend to pray for the wrong reasons and in a wrong manner. This is the reason Jesus taught his disciples and all us how to pray. To determine what to pray for and how to pray, we need the help of the Holy Spirit.  It is because we do not know how to pray that ‘the Spirit comes to the aid of our weakness’ (Rom 8:26). Precisely because we do not know what to pray for that ‘the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with inexpressible groaning’ (Rom 8:26).

In the final analysis, an authentic prayer is modeled after the example of Jesus and inspired by the Holy Spirit. We do not babble in prayer. We do not pray to impress people. Prayer is not a performance. Prayer is not words but groaning; not requests but desire; not activity but stillness. Be still and know that I am God (Ps 46:10).

John Duns Scotus: The Divisions of the Essential Order

John Scotus examines the fourfold division of order of being. To make his divisions very clear, he attempts to indicate members of a division and to show that the members actually belong to the division. Contrary to the opinion of those who argue that the posterior is ordered and that the prior transcends order, John Scotus argues that order is a ‘relation which can be affirmed equally of the prior and posterior in regard to each other.’


The First Division

The first division comprises of the two orders: order of eminence and order of dependence. In the order of eminence, a thing is said to be prior if it is more perfect and noble; posterior if it is superseded in perfection. Having recourse to the example of Aristotle, John Scotus claims that act is prior in order of eminence to potency. Since act is prior according to substance and form while potency is posterior according to becoming.

In the order of dependence, what exists essentially and independently is prior whereas what depends on the other for its existence is posterior. The prior can exist without the posterior but the posterior cannot exist without the prior. Even if the prior should produce the posterior necessarily (and as such could not exist without it) still does not mean that the prior requires the posterior for its existence. Without the posterior the existence of the prior can be conceived; such existence cannot be contradictory.  For John Scotus “anything which is essentially posterior depends necessarily upon what is prior but not vice versa, even should the posterior at times proceed from it necessarily.”


The Second Division

The second division is a subdivision of the order of dependence into two separate units. In the first unit, the dependent is something caused and that which it depends is the cause. The dependent is the posterior and that which it depends is the cause. In this order there is a clear demarcation between the caused (posterior) from the cause (prior).

The second unit is more subtle.  Both the dependent and that which it depends have the same cause.  The same cause produces two different effects. The first effect by its natures could be caused before the other. The second effect can be caused only if the first is caused. The first effect is prior while the second effect is posterior.  John Scotus illustrates these two effects with the mind and the state of mind. The mind is caused proximately while the state of mind is caused remotely. The state of mind is posterior and the mind is prior. The state of mind is dependent on the mind. However both have the same cause.

John Duns Scotus labored to show that in the second unit of the second division, “there is an essential dependence of the more remote upon the more proximate effect.”  He proffers three reasons to support his position. First, the second effect which is posterior cannot exist without the first effect which is prior. Second, the fact that the two effects have the same cause affects them according to a certain order and they in turn are ordered to each other essentially because of their individual relations to a mutual cause. Third, the second effect needs only to be considered as the immediate cause of the more proximate effect.


The Third Division

The third division further splits the second unit of the second division (two effects both remote and proximate with one cause). The first part of this division is the immediate effect which is  prior not only ‘when it proceeds more proximately from the immediate cause of the two effects, but also when the common cause is related more remotely to an effect.’  In this division even if the proximate cause of the second effect (e.g. state of mind) is not in any way the cause of the first effect (e.g. mind itself), there is still ‘an essential order based on a priority and posteriority of effects so long as the causality of their common cause is itself related to these effects by an essential order.’

 The second part of this division is the remote effect which is posterior. This remote effect is still an order of essential dependence since “each effect is essentially ordered to some common third which is their mutual cause, it follows that these effects are also essentially ordered to one another.” This remote effect cannot exist without the proximate effect.


The Fourth Division

In this division, the cause in the first unit of the second division is further divided into fourfold part namely, final, efficient, material and formal. The final cause is that which is ordered to an end called finitum. The efficient cause is the author, the mover of a thing. The material cause is what is made from matter called materiatum. The formal cause is what is given form called formatum.

The Golden Rule and Reciprocity

Do to others whatever you would have them do to you. This rule can be rephrased in a negative form: do not do to others want you do not want them to do to you. This famous golden rule is the summary of the moral teachings of Jesus. It sums up the Law and the Prophets. It is the basic principle of human relationships and community life. It transcends all cultures and religions.  Even the animists appreciate the rule. Alexander Severus, a pagan emperor wrote it in gold in his court as a benchmark for dispensing justice.

The golden rule simply states that we should treat others the way we will like to be treated. If we want to be respected- we should respect others. If we want to be loved, we should love. If we do not want to be deceived, we should not deceive. If we do not want to be cheated, we should not cheat.

Needless to say that the golden rule is so easy to pronounce but difficult to practise. It is not uncommon to see people who fight for their rights but have no regards for the rights of others. Or people who protect their own freedom but viciously violate the freedom of others. A liar may insist that everybody should tell him the truth. And a dishonest person wants everybody to be honest with him. The golden rule may be very simple and commonsensical but difficult to practise.

It is also true that there is no assurance that if we do to others what we want them to do to us they will reciprocate. If we want to be loved, and we love people. There is no guarantee that we will be loved back. Practicing the golden rule may prove very difficult with those who do not share our moral value system. For example, the fact that I don’t want to be cheated and I don’t cheat people does not necessarily mean that others will not cheat me.  In other words the golden rule does not guarantee reciprocity.

If the golden rule does not guarantee reciprocity, is it still worth following? Lack of reciprocity may not prevent us from following the rule. The fact that one’s love may not be returned does not mean one should stop loving. If you save your greetings only for your friends, what more are you doing than other? Even the Gentiles do the same (Cf. Mt 5:47). If we love only those who will love us back or give only to those who will give us back, we are doing nothing exceptionally meritorious.

The practice of the golden rule should transcend selfish motives. We love selflessly even when our love is not returned. We give without expecting anything in return. We greet even when our greetings are not appreciated. We respect the rights of those who will not respect our rights. Then we will become true sons and daughters of our Father in heaven.

The Eucharistic Presence

God promised to dwell with the Israelites and the whole humanity. Behold among men the dwelling place of God, they shall be his people, He shall be their God (Ez 37:27). This promise was fulfilled at the incarnation of our Lord Jesus Christ. He became human being like us in all things but sin. The Word became flesh and dwelt among us. And we see his glory, the glory as of a father’s only son, full of grace and truth (Jn 1:14). Before his Ascension to his Father, Jesus made an astonishing promise: Behold I am with you always to the close of the age (Mt 28:20).

Jesus Christ knowing the challenges we will be facing as Christians, promised to stay with us to the end of the world. He fulfilled this promise by staying with us in the Eucharist. The Eucharist does not symbolize or represent Jesus. The holy Eucharist is Jesus. The Eucharist is Jesus, body and blood, soul and divinity. The God whom heaven and earth cannot contain condescended to stay among us in the Blessed Sacrament. The Eucharist is Emmanuel- God with us.

Nothing can explain this singular and stupendous presence of God among us but love; the boundless love of Jesus for us. Pope John Paul II says “contemplating Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament we discover the boundless love.”  In the presence of Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament we are bathed with the glory, stunned by the beauty, enthralled by the majesty of Jesus and filled with every grace and blessing. In the presence Blessed Sacrament, all our worries and anxieties are laid to rest. All our problems and troubles dissolve into nothingness. We are filled with hope, joy and peace. In the presence of Jesus, we feel safe.

Stay with us Lord, because it is almost evening and the day is now nearly over (Lk 24:29). Stay with us Lord in the dark and dreadful moments of life. Stay with us Lord especially at the last moments of our lives. Stay with us Lord.

A Short Reflection on Ash Wednesday

The reception of the ashes is an outward sign of inward conversion. By receiving the ashes we acknowledge that we are sinners, that we have grievously offended God, that we have disobeyed his laws, but now that we are sincerely sorry and contrite. The ash will be utterly useless if its reception does not lead to true change of heart.

Repentance is the overriding theme of the period of lent. Repentance is at the heart of the Gospel. It is the basic condition of becoming an authentic Christian. Without conversion nobody can enjoy a meaningful and intimate relationship with Jesus, nobody can see the face of God or enter into the Kingdom of God.

The message of repentance can sound almost like a cliché in the modern ear. Yet the Church will never stop proclaiming this message. Conversion was the first topic Jesus discussed in the Gospels. As soon as He was baptized Jesus began to proclaim the message of repentance: the time is fulfilled and the Kingdom of God has come near, repent and believe in the Gospel (Mk 1:15).  And in Luke 13:3 Jesus warns us sternly: I tell you, unless you repent you will all perish.

St Peter preaching at the Portico of Solomon says “repent and turn to God so that your sins may be wiped out, so that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord (Acts 3:19-20). St Paul speaking to the Athenians says “overlooking the time of ignorance, God is telling everyone everywhere that they must repent, because he has fixed a day when the whole world will be judged” (Acts 17:30).

 The time for repentance is now. Now is the favorable time. If you hear his voice today harden not your heart. All our activities of this holy period of lent should lead to repentance so that we can celebrate Easter as new creatures, true sons and daughters of God, citizens of heaven.

St Augustine: Happiness and Supreme Good

Happiness is one of the major topics that preoccupied Augustine’s mind in his life time. He wrote extensively on this topic in many of his writings (De Vita Beata, Confessions). But our primary concern here is the exposition of Augustine’s notion of happiness in a short treatise against the Manicheans titled The Morals of Catholic Church [ De Moribus Ecclesiae Catholicae]. Augustine states at the beginning of this work that “we all certainly desire to live happily; and there is no human being but assents to this statement almost before it is made" (De mor. eccl. cath. 3.4). To arrive at the idea of happiness, Augustine first enumerates the causes of unhappiness



CAUSES OF UNHAPPINESS

There are many proximate and immediate causes of unhappiness. Augustine identifies three causes of unhappiness -lack of possession of object of love, possession of injurious object of love and lack of love and appreciation for the object possessed (De mor. eccl. cath. 3. 4).  Other causes of unhappiness appear reducible to these three ultimate causes.

Deprivation of Object of Love

The one who is denied of his object of love whatever it may be is unhappy. The object of love may be attainable or unattainable. If the object of love is attainable but not yet possessed, he suffers a great deal of frustration. If the object is unattainable, he suffers torture. Man strives for the object of his love because he is convinced that it will contribute to his happiness. If the possession of his object of love is happiness, then deprivation of the same constitutes a great sadness.

Possession of Injurious Object of Love

The ownership of an object of love that is hazardous is another cause of unhappiness.  The object of love itself may be morally neutral but its abuse may be very injurious.  For example, power can be morally neutral. But the abuse of power can be disastrous to the powerful.  If the object of love is intrinsically evil, the possession of such can be a huge source of unhappiness.  For instance, the possession of occult power is dangerous. It ultimately leads to unhappiness.

Devaluation of Good Object of Love

Failure to apprehend and appreciate the object of love that is good can lead to unhappiness. When man does not possess what he loves or does not love what he possesses even if it is good he becomes unhappy. The problem is not with the object of love which is capable of giving happiness; the problem is with the recipient who is incapable of appreciating a good object. Ignorance may be one of the reasons one fails to appreciate and appropriate a good object of love.


HAPPINESS AS POSSESSION OF SUPREME GOOD

Key to Augustine’s notion of happiness are three terms; love, object of love, possession of object of love. Man is happy when these three things coalesce together.  For Augustine, man is happy when he possesses what he loves, loves what he possesses, and when what he loves and possesses is the Supreme Good (Summum Bonum). He defines the supreme good as "a good than which there is nothing better." Man is happy only when he possesses the object of his love. However the ultimate object of love is the supreme good. “No one can be happy who does not enjoy what is man’s chief good, nor is there anyone who enjoys this who is not happy” (De mor. eccl. cath. 3.4). Happiness is a loving possession of man’s supreme good. But what is the supreme good?



THE SUPREME GOOD IS GOD

Augustine asserts that man’s supreme good is God. He says “the perfection of all our good things and our perfect good is God” (De mor. eccl. cath. 8.13). Only God possesses all the ‘properties’ of supreme good.  Augustine argues that happiness consists in loving possession of God. The chief good man must hasten to attain is nothing else but God. He concludes that “following after God is the desire of happiness; to reach God is happiness itself.” Man attains happiness by following and loving God.  Augustine remarks that “God then remains, in following after whom we live well, and in reaching whom we live both well and happy.”



PROPERTIES OF THE SUPREME GOOD

First, the supreme good is superior to man. It is better and higher than man. It is that which there is nothing better.  The supreme good cannot be inferior to man because “whoever follows after what is inferior to himself, becomes himself inferior.”
Second, it is capable of being possessed and enjoyed. Since “the height of a follower’s desire is to reach that which he follows after.” It will be futile for man to yearn for a good that is unreachable. If the supreme good is unattainable the desire for happiness will inevitably lead to frustration.
Third, it cannot be lost against one’s will. “For no one can feel confident regarding a good which he knows can be taken from him, although he wishes to keep and cherish it.” Anxiety over losing it will make the good less desirable. The supreme good is that which is possessed without the fear of loss.
Fourth, the supreme good must perfect the human soul. Augustine maintains that the chief good of man is whatever perfects the soul. Since the body is perfected by the soul and that which perfects the soul indirectly perfects the body that is animated by the soul (De mor. eccl. Cath. 5.7).

A Pillar of Iron

It is difficult to pass through life without experiencing some opposition or hostility. Hardly one can move through different departments of life without confronting some formidable enemies- from within and without. It is also impossible to define oneself, build a character, and cultivate an opinion without encountering some resistance. Life is an intricate web of intimate and adversarial relationships.

Prophet Jeremiah at the beginning of his mission was a fearful man. He was surrounded by inveterate enemies. The hatred and hostilities of his own people towards him was unbearable. Later in his life, he would shout “I hear many whispering words of intrigue against me. Those who would cause me terror are everywhere!” (Jer 20:10). He was terrified and horrified. He feared for his life. He was already losing heart even before he began his mission. He felt dejected and rejected.

To reassure him the Lord spoke to him. The Lord says “do not be dismayed by them, lest I dismay you before them.  And I, behold, I make you this day a fortified city, an iron pillar and bronze walls, against the whole land…They will fight against you; but they shall not prevail against you, for I am with you, says the Lord, to deliver you” (Cf. Jer 1: 17-19). Hearing these encouraging words, Jeremiah became bold and fearless. He was strengthened, energized and fortified. He was ready to face anybody and anything. Indeed Jeremiah was severely persecuted. He was beaten and humiliated; imprisoned by the king; thrown into a well by temple officials; opposed by false prophets. Through all these trials he stood firm. He stood his ground. He was unconquered and unbowed. He persevered to the end.

You may be going through a tough period in your life. Perhaps you are facing some stiff opposition from your ‘enemies’.  Your worst enemies may come from your ‘inner circles’. Opposition can arise at anytime and anywhere. The enemies that you know are less dangerous. More vicious are the enemies you do not know. The worst enemies are those who pretend to be your friends; waiting for the best opportunity to betray you or strike you. You need not be surprised at the opposition you may be facing. Jesus warns us that people will hate and persecute us on account of his name (Mk 13:11-13, Jn 15:18-25).  Your enemies can also hate you for various reasons; for stupid reasons or for no reason at all!

 You may feel threatened and you are frightened- afraid of what the enemy will do next. Do not allow fear to rule and ruin your life. Fear is a terrible thing. Fear is a like a virus that eats away everything- your strength, energy, resources, time, ambitions- everything. It can deprive you of your peace of mind, joy of living, freedom of sons and daughters of God. It can take away everything.  It can reduce you to a slave; it can reduce you to nothingness. If you succumb to fear, it can determine your decisions and life style. Then you cringe and shrink. You are bowed, cowered like cowards.

If you are afraid remember the gracious words that the Lord spoke to Jeremiah. You are a fortified city. You are impregnable and unassailable; you are unconquerable. You are a pillar of iron. You are indestructible. Nobody can bend or twist you because you are a pillar of iron purified by the Pillar of fire. You are a bronze wall. You are strong. You are impenetrable. You are fortified. When the Psalmist realized how fortified he was by Yahweh, he boldly asked: the Lord is my light and my help whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life before whom shall I shrink? (Ps 27:1)

You have the seal of the Blessed Trinity. The Lord of Hosts is with you. The God of Jacob is your stronghold. If the Lord is with you who can be against you? You are washed and covered with the Blood of the Lamb. A guardian angel with a flaming sword is assigned to you-to guard you day and night. The Lord himself is your guard.  He sleeps not nor slumbers. At your right hand He stands. By day the sun shall not smite you or the moon in the night. The Lord will guard you from evil. He will guard your soul. The Lord will guard your going and coming both now and forever (Cf. Ps 121).

Permit your fear to go away. St Theophan says “you must never be afraid, if you are troubled by a flood of thoughts, that the enemy is too strong against you, that his attacks are never ending, that the war will last for your lifetime, and that you cannot avoid incessant downfalls of all kinds. Know that our enemies, with all their wiles, are in the hands of our divine Commander, our Lord Jesus Christ, for whose honour and glory you are waging war.” In place of fear, welcome courage, confidence, and boldness. You did not receive the spirit of timid (Cf. 2Tim 1:7). He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world (Cf. 1Jn 4:4). Do not be afraid!

Dealing With Difficult People (Part 2)

DO NOT JUDGE, CRITICIZE, CONDEMN

The bible makes it crystal clear that we have no right to judge our neighbours.  Do not judge and you will not be judged. Do not condemn and you will not be condemned. Forgive and you will be forgiven (Lk 6:37). There is only one law giver and judge. Who are you to judge your neighbour? (Jam 4:12).

Prophet Nathan accosted King David. The prophet told David about a rich man and a poor man. How the rich man killed the only lamb that belonged to the poor man. Kind David retorted in anger: “as the Lord lives, the man who has done this deserves to die”! But when he realized that he was the person being referred to by the prophet he became silent. David was so eager to judge the other but very reluctant to judge or condemn himself to death (Cf. 2 Sam 12: 1-15).

We all have to minimize our criticism of others. We need to be less critical of others. Those who are hypercritical often turn out to be hypocritical. Richelle Goodrich says “there is no such thing as constructive criticism. There is constructive advice, constructive guidance, constructive counsel, encouragement, suggestion and instruction.  Criticism, however, is not constructive but a destructive means of fault-finding that cripples all parties involved”.


AVOID NAME CALLING

We may be quick to call people terrible names when they commit serious offence. The names are meant as a form of subtle insult or abuse to shame, humiliate or disgrace the offender. We may take a swipe at people; launch acerbic or vitriolic verbal attacks to embarrass or disgrace the other. Verbally humiliating others is never justified.

We believe that if we shame, disgrace an offender, this will serve as a punishment to him and as a deterrent to others. This is a twisted logic. “No one is genuinely humbled by public humiliation. No one is helped to own up mistakes by being ridiculed. No one is brought to repentance by being taunted or laughed at.” The person we humiliate may never forgive us or forget the sorrow we caused him. Mahatma Gandhi says “it has always been a mystery to me how many feel themselves honoured by the humiliation of their fellow beings”. We must never derive pleasure in humiliating others. When God found Adam and Eve naked He covered their shame. Let us do the same for our brothers and sisters in their moments of embarrassment. Let us cover the shame of our brothers and sisters.


DO NOT SPREAD THE FAULT OF ANOTHER

Bad news travel faster than good news. We all have the propensity to spread bad news more quickly than good news. When our neighbour does something terrible and scandalous, we are likely more eager to spread their faults abroad.   This behaviour is so pervasive and putrescent. Scandalous videos or photos become ‘viral’ in a matter of minutes. Scandalous videos are shared more rapidly on the internet than inspirational videos.

 When people do something heroic or laudable, we may just ignore them. We give it very little attention. We keep mum.
The offender still deserves his dignity and reputation. We should be reluctant to spread the faults of others. We should avoid gossip. Never destroy the reputation of others even when they have committed atrocious acts.


DO NOT DEMAND CHANGE AS A CONDITION FOR ACCEPTANCE AND LOVE

While it is perfectly right to demand positive change from our brothers and sisters, we may not demand change as a condition of love and acceptance. We may desire change in another person, but whether the person will change or not is not within our power. There are many possibilities- the person may change; he may not/never change; he may change later; he may change very slowly. If we have to wait for change before we accept, love and forgive others we may have to wait for a very long time.

Perhaps we actually need change far more than the others. We may need to change our view and attitude to other. We may need to change our attitude of aggression to compassion, gossip to prayer, criticism to advice, anger to forgiveness.


DO NOT HATE

We do not hate the offender or keep grudges against the sinner. Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him (1Jn 3:15). You shall not hate your brother in your heart, but shall reason frankly with your neighbor, lest you incur sin because of him (Lev 19:17). Hatred is like a red hot charcoal we aim at somebody. But before we throw it, it will first burn our own hand.

Hatred is  self-destructive. Hatred is self-defeating. According to St Maximos, “if we detect any trace of hatred in our hearts against any man whatsoever for committing any fault, we are utterly estranged from love for God, since love for God absolutely precludes us from hating any man.” What about praying for the offender? St Chrysostom says “no one can feel hatred towards those for whom he prays”.


CONCLUSION

We all need to learn how to cope with impossible people in our lives. We need to learn how to live in peace, love, harmony, and understanding even with ‘bad’ people. We must never give the devil an opportunity to destroy many through the fault of one. The offence of others must not be an occasion of sins for us. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good (Rom 12:21). Two wrongs can never make a right. We cannot achieve the right thing by doing the wrong thing. We cannot do the right thing in the wrong way.

Dealing With Difficult People (Part1)

The existence of difficult people is one of the unpleasant facts of life. There are people around and among us we consider obnoxious, wicked and vicious. History is littered with a long list of wicked men and women, kings and queens, dictators, charlatans, generals, psychopath, terrorists who will stop at nothing to destroy others.  Hitler, Lenin, Stalin, Osama bin Laden, Idi Amin, are among the notorious leaders and terrorists in history. In our society there are armed robbers, kidnappers, fraudsters, terrorists; people we will love to loathe. Perhaps we have had some unpleasant experience with a selfish neighbor or colleague and we wonder how we can cope with these ‘impossible’ people. Even in our parish community, it is not uncommon to see people with dubious character since the Church welcomes both saints and sinners. In our families we may have to put up with difficult spouse, children, siblings, relative and in-laws.

There are several passages in the Bible that affirm the existence of wicked people. In the Gospel of Matthew 13: 24-30, we have the parable of the weeds and the wheat. The farmer sows wheat. In the night the evil one sows weeds. The servants call the attention of the farmer to the growth of weeds in his farm. But the farmer discourages his servants from uprooting the weeds. The farmers says “let both of them grow together until the harvest; and at harvest time I will tell the reapers, collect the weeds first and bind them in bundles to be burned, but gather the wheat into my barn” (Matt 13: 30).  It is the will God that wheat and weed, sheep and goat, and good and evil should co-exist or live side by side. “I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked, says the Lord, but that he turns from his way and live” (Ez 33: 11). God is not in a hurry to destroy the wicked (like the servants in the parable of the wheat and weed we wish God ‘uproots’ the wicked).

However, dealing with evil and wicked people can be a hard nut to crack. In our weakness we tend to relate with them with a lot of negativity. We are inclined to repay evil with evil. The fault of one person can become a stumbling block for many. The offense of one can become an occasion of sin for others. Responding negatively to the evil of others, we can endanger our own soul. In this short reflection, we will be discussing how not to relate with difficult people. What are the things we should NOT do in the face of evil of others?



DO NOT TO BE SCANDALIZED

We should not be scandalized, disturbed or distressed at the evil of others. We need not lose our peace of mind; lose our sleep in the face of the evils in this world. We must not be disoriented, disorganized and confused at the atrocities committed by others. In the face of horrendous evils around we ask: how can he do something like that? Why should she do something like that? And we may  be disturbed and distressed. St Francis says “let the brothers (and sisters) take care not to be disturbed or angered at the sin or the evil of others, because the devil wished to destroy many through the fault of one”. A member of a group does something despicable. Other members of the group become angry and resentful. They begin to gossip about it. They condemn and judge harshly the sinner. Inadvertently the sin of one member can lead other members to more dangerous sins like gossip, slander, resentment and malice. Indeed the devil can cause many to fall by the sin of one. It is possible for us to be calm and composed, self-possessed even in the face of terrible atrocities.


DO NOT BE ANGRY

When we are offended, our first reaction can go from disbelief to disgust to outrage. We are apoplectic with rage. We fret, fume and chafe. Anger is a natural instinct; it is human and quite normal.  In some circumstances we do not have time to decide whether to be angry or not. We are already angry. Nonetheless after the initial spontaneous reaction of anger, we should gradually permit our anger to dissolve, dissipate and fizzle away. We must never hold on to our anger, never fuel it; never allow it to brood or smolder; never allow our anger to take over our whole being; never allow anger to take away our peace of mind. If you are angry let it be without sin, the sun must not go down on your wrath. Do not give the devil a chance to work on you (Eph 4: 26-27). Even if we get angry, we should never allow our anger to lead us to sin. But if we allow our anger to linger or brood, it will ultimately lead to sin. The longer anger stays the surer it will lead to sin.  We need not allow the faults or the sins of others to constitute an occasion for our sin. Our anger is never justified. Man’s anger cannot satisfy God’s justice (Jam 1: 19-20).

But who is this Christian that is angry? Is he infallible? Is he impeccable or sinless? There are three likely possibilities:

First, we are not guilty of this particular fault. If we are not guilty of the same fault, it is not by our effort. It is only by the grace of God. It is only a proud person that will say: “I can never do that”. The ‘I’ that claims ‘it cannot do that’ is the ego or the false self. Unlike the proud, the saints are always humble. They believe that they are the worst sinners.  St Francis often says “I believe that I am the greatest of all sinners. If God had given the greatest criminal the mercy he has shown me, that man would be ten times more spiritual that I.”

Second, we are guilty of the same sin. If we are guilty of the same weakness or fault we are angry at, we become hypocrites. E.g. a parent accuses his children of stealing his money while he embezzles millions in his office. Let the one who has not sinned be the first to throw the stone (Jn 8:7). Sometimes what separates us from the persons we condemn is the fact that while our faults are hidden, their faults have become public knowledge.

Third, we may not be guilty of this particular sin but guilty of other sins this sinner is not culpable. I may not be guilty of adultery but guilty of slander. For whoever keeps the whole law but fails in one point has become accountable for all of it (Jam 2:10). If we disobey other God’s commandments what is the basis of our anger? By breaking one law we have broken the whole law.

Sometimes we attempt to correct others in anger. The correction that is heavily diluted with anger is ineffective. It can be counter- productive.  Our anger can eclipse the message we are trying to pass across. The offender cannot hear the offended because the noise of offended’s anger is too loud.  But if we are calm, composed and self-possessed, our correction will be more effective. Aristotle says “anybody can become angry that is easy, but to be angry with the right person, and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose and in the right way – that is not within everybody’s power.”